Darn tired. There's sci soc tomorrow. I feel like quitting argh,..
I really have nothing to blog about. Oh yesterday me and evil spacemonkey went to the beach and did crap. Then we ran around punggol. Twas very very fun.

Anyway. Today, as in like just two mins ago I didn't manage to dodge the needle. =( got my flu jab. I've spent half my life dodging needles but argh. FINE.
Anyway I'm watching hot shot now, since america's next top model isn't done yet and I've watched as far as they've shown. So bored. After this I'll watch Idk. Hahas. Okays I'm going to have trouble catching during the next training.

Anyway i'll make this official.

I HATE NEEDLES =(

p.s. MY ARM IS NUMB OH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I LOVE YOU DADDY.

BOO.

i'm back :D I've been doing a lot of drawing and reading lately. Quite tired also. I've no idea why but I've been feeling tired constantly. Had electric guitar todayy! It was soo much fun! hahas. Hmmm holidays just started. But I'm quite apprehensive about certain things. Anyways I'll upload my drawings when I am less tired.

Sometimes I feel like I just can't communicate with my parents. So much for the topic on communication this morning during tuition. But then again, regardless of character, parents will be parents and they care most about our upbringing. So I'll let that pass.

I'm worried for you. You're always so uptight. I'll find ways to make you less uptight. I can't stop thinking about you, dang.

AMANDA, why is your foot hurting? Ah get well soon! :D

Okays dearies,
I'm off to draw.
:D

Angel of mercy, how did you find me, where did you read my story? So I wanted to say, I wanted to do, I wanted to feel, I wanted to know,.... Angel of mercy, how did you find me, how did you pick me up again, Angel of mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?

Two more days before the holidays begin. Honestly speaking I have mixed feelings about many many decisions I have made. I wish I wasn't so fickle minded. Bother,.. Nevermind. I need to do some thing useful. Substantial. I'm super sleepy now. Hand hurts, leg hurts. Gosh.

Ok. byebye.

gone, just like that.

you don't let me run, you take away my only solace.
you say, don't be a burden to your mother, then why make me stay home, I am only a burden, my presence is a chore.
you say, don't only think about your own interests, don't you see that my presence at home only results in trouble?
you think you know, do you really?

I don't exist. Can we live that way? I think it's better. Less of me, more of all of you.

Bother bother, does my name spell trouble or what?

JUST LET ME RUN, maybe I can run myself to death. Or something. sighs.


It's raining, when will it be sunny again?

until you climb into his skin and walk around in it...

Hmmm.
Liar you're still doing down, faster and further than imagined. Tired and weary I know, sick and full of hate I know, just. stop it.

Hmmm,... bye.

I decided to do a post on people who I am grateful for :D
(in no order at all)

1. My entire immediate family.
2. Extended family.
3. Shenn and Hillary and clara and sarah (these go together all the siaoo people).
4. Jian Han, Jamie and Val. :D
5. The rest of the div and leaders. :D
6. Thihapine
7. Lin Sen
8. Regina and Zishan(these two must go together.)
9. Rachel Y.
10. Qi Hui
11. Kai Xiang
12. Amanda GOHH :D
13. Huimin
14. Xin Yan
15. Jie Chong and Yulian
16. others who made me :D:D:D:D

Sorry If I left anyone out, I'm quite sleepy now. Anyways, to the people above TY ALOT.
:D

Believe it or not you mean a real lot to me. OKAYS. i'm off to sleep like a oink.
BYEBYE! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :D

听着这首歌, 我知道自己心目中有很多的话想跟你说, 但是来到要跟你说那些话的时候, 不知道为什么那些话我全都无法说出来. 其实, 说真的, 就算我知道怎么说出来, 我也不会说出来, 因为我怕说出的话, 我会失去我们之间的友情...
我也知道,你和我是不可能的事. 但是心里无法把你放下. 一个月, 两个月, 到今天维持, 还是无法把你忘了. 昨天跟你谈天的时候, 感觉到心跳加快, 不知不觉地, 脸上露出了笑容. 心里知道要忘记你实在是太难了. 那天, 我以为有别的女孩喜欢你, 觉得自己是永远得不到你的爱, 想了老半天, 心疼了很久, 到了楼下跑了很久, 才感到一点开心.

现在我要开始把你忘了.
再见,
你一定要开心.

WHYWHYWHY,
Exams over = no study = slack = SHOULD BE HAPPY?
BUT. Argh, nothing to do! I shall get a job. hmm hmm hmm. HMM. Supposed to actually. but too lazy..! Going china I think. Maybe I'll feng for awhile and dye my hair before the trip, and watch my parents flip.
AH tired. Buhbye!

eyes shut, scene changes.

I walk. And muse. Silence. We always say; "silence filled the room," we always say it was silent. We only "hear" silence. Do we ever touch it? Silence touched me, chilled me to the bone, I am silent. Silence filled me, overwhelmed me, I am silent. Silence wrapped around me, like a blanket, engulfing me in thought. Silence.

Eyes shut, scene changes.

I'm here. I know it. Just me, me and me alone. There are people. But I don't know them. I don't care anyway. Just me walking around in my own head, messing with my own thoughts. Stretches out hand, touches a thought, grapples at the thought, takes it into hand, crushes thought, crumbles thought, throws it away. Thinks, muses. That can't happen, I think.

Looks down, scene changes.

I'm somewhere I don't know. Can't see, can't hear. No, can't distinctively hear. That's right. Everything's muffled. Something reaches out to me, stabs me, here, right in my stomach. I'm supposed to fall, what's happening? Why am I not down? Looks down, blood. The mind thinks; not right, not right. Eyes search. Oh. It's sorrow. Stabs but doesn't kill. Thinks, muses, possible?
Perhaps.

Breathes in sharply, scene changes.

Trudging down corridors. Thinking about, about... Nothing. As usual. Nothing is something, isn't it? Or it isn't? Shakes head, shakes away confusion. Music plays in ears, too loud, too loud. Voices whisper in head, no it's something tragic. Too wrong, too wrong. Too warped, too confused, too.. abnormal? Trudges on, walks past people. Noticed, but remains unnoticing. Ironic. Thinks, muses, happens, I guess.

Turns round a corner, scene changes.

People moving, lips moving, they must be talking. But the sound is blanked out. Gone, gone, gone. Look around, it's pretty comical actually, but only if their expressions weren't harsh, and you didn't know their harsh words were directed at you. Blinks hard. Breathes in sharply. Sucks in breath, makes effort to suck in all the sorrow too, so that it won't show. Sucks in too hard, shoulders start to shake, spills out, over, over, over and over. Too late, weakling. Weakling, chant begins, whispering in your head, ears, thoughts. Run, run a mental run. No, nowhere to run. Tears fall, down. Feel it, hate it, wish it wasn't true. Back away, back down, run away, retreat, faster, faster, faster! Coward, chant gets louder, in head, can't escape, run, run but it hurts.
Of course it hurts, slaps self, who said it wouldn't hurt. Thinks, muses, laughs at own stupidity.

Eyes shut, scene changes.

Crouched in a corner, what am I doing here? Hiding. From what? Brain tries to think, can't really connect thoughts. Tired. I know, tired. Too tired. Sleep, rest, need a break. Sudden jolt. Anger, fierce anger races in, pumping adrenaline. Desperate urge to hurt, hurt, hurt. It's in the head, got a grip on you. Hurt someone. Hate surges in, riding upon fear, a desperate rider. Lashes out at fear, fear jerks, whines, races on. Around and around head in circles. Won't let up. No, go away, go away. Whimpers. Something's wrong, something whispers. Something's so wrong, why, what? Shuts eyes, tries to think, thinks. Muses. Hates with a vengence.

Eyes shut, let's out tired sigh, scene changes.

It's black. Everything's black. Help. It's not supposed to be black. No, I, falling away.

Go,

Gone.

It's high time I updated my blog. Everything has been so hectic and frustrating lately. Oh and sometimes I feel as if I am writing a book in my head.

Anyway, math paper was today, marking the end of EOYS. How fast time flies. I was just reminding myself to study because it was 50days away from EOYS. But now, it's over.
Feeling quite sick and headachy now frankly speaking. I had food poisoning last night. Pure torture. After last night, I don't know why but food has lost it's entire appeal. I was starving hungry for lunch after vball prac cos I hadn't eaten much dinner last night and didn't have breakfast this morning. But the thought of food just totally put me off. I felt like puking instead.
Ooh phobia of food. A curb to my insane eating habits. EH amanda?

YES. ok Let me fully rejoice now. EOYS ARE OVER...
=

More Swimming
More running
More badminton
More electric guitar
DANCE LESSONS oh yesyesyesyesyes.
AND.
More Gym sessions.
Awesome stuff I might drool on the keyboard.
AND I might go rockclimbing I WANT TO. Omg drool.

HAHAHA.
Okay!
ENOUGH SAID. I am feeling so highhhhhh. and headachy.
Whoots.
Shall go check out dance stuff now. (so LOL right.)

dokay. bye!